• Question: why am i so alone

    Asked by Oli to Ben, Sam, Kirsty, Maggi, Rose on 13 Jun 2017.
    • Photo: Rose Turner

      Rose Turner answered on 13 Jun 2017:

      Oli, I am sorry to hear you feel alone. If it helps, you are not alone in feeling alone – lots of people feel that way (people are good at hiding it on social media etc!) If you are feeling really low then I’d suggest trying to speak with a counsellor at school, or another trusted adult if you can. I’m a research psychologist so I’m not qualified to tell you what to do, unfortunately. But there are people who are qualified to help with problems like feeling depressed, anxious, afraid and alone, and it’s a very mature thing to seek help when you need it.

      If you are feeling a bit isolated, could you talk to a friend about it? Maybe you could try to take up a new hobby that might help you too meet some like-minded people. Trying to keep social connections with other people can really help. But, as I say, if you are feeling really bad, and socialising isn’t something you feel you can do right now, go and speak to someone for a bit of advice – they might have some really good ideas about ways to help you. Wishing you all the best.

    • Photo: Kirsty Miller

      Kirsty Miller answered on 14 Jun 2017:

      Hi Oli,

      It’s really normal to feel alone – we all do sometimes. Even the people who look like they’ve got the most friends, or are most popular can feel very lonely. Often the most popular looking can be the loneliest!
      So the important thing to remember is that you are not alone – and everyone feels that way sometimes.

      The main thing though is that if you are feeling lonely most or all of the time you should try to tell someone about it. It doesn’t matter who you tell – a family member, a teacher who you trust, or a guidance teacher is a good start. You don’t have to tell them too much if you don’t feel comfortable, just explain how you’re feeling and ask if they have any advice. If you have a friend you trust it’s worth trying to speak to them – you’d be amazed how many people feel the same way and will be so grateful that someone else has spoken about it! When I talk about things that bother me, people always say ‘me too!’ and then we talk about it, and both feel better because we had thought we were the only ones!

      If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know well, you could try your doctor, or there are lots of charities and helplines (e.g. Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk, Childline https://www.childline.org.uk) you could call for advice from experts who have a lot of experience.

      Just please remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people who feel the same way and would love to know they aren’t the only ones! There are also so many people out there who want to help… Good luck – you WILL feel better 🙂

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