Question: luna, i struggle alot with anger and it results in assault, punching things, and basically getting really mad. iv tried the well known methods of counting to 10 or taking deep breaths but that only patronises me and frustrates me even more, do you know any special techniques? and is there a reason for it all?

Luna Munoz answered on 23 Mar 2011:

Hi eminem. There may be a reason and it may be useful to talk to someone about it – preferably a psychologist. Basically, your using aggression, even if it’s just toward a pillow or ‘things,’ is not good. It turns out that taking it out on a pillow just makes your anger worse. The techniques you are using may not be good for you because they seem stupid and pointless to you, making you frustrated. Also, these methods only work if you remove yourself from the situation making you angry. Also, you should work on your thoughts during the time that you remove yourself. Think about whether anger is really going to solve the issue, think about the consequences of your anger, and try to think of any alternatives. So, it’s the thoughts that you need to work on next.

One thing that scientists are finding is that if you practice ways of managing your behaviour when you’re not angry, it can help you manage your behaviour when you are angry. So, people who were told to speak in a correct way (saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘yeah’ etc.) were able to manage themselves better when they were angry. Do you practice anything that takes control? Perhaps try changing something that takes control: speaking well, exercising (like running or jumping rope), trying to use the hand you don’t write with, yoga, or something like that. It may help.